New Digital Age Song

"Online" by Braid Paisley I work down at The Pizza Pit

And I drive an old Hyundai

I still live with my mom and dad

I'm five foot three and overweight

I'm a sci: fi fanatic, mild asthmatic

Never been to second base

But there's a whole 'nother me

That you need to see

Go check out Myspace.

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood

I'm six foot five and I look damn good

I drive a Maserati, I'm a black belt in karate

And I love a good glass of wine

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious

I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious

'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat

With two women at one time.

I'm so much cooler online

I'm so much cooler online.

I get home I kiss my mom

And she fixes me a snack

I head down to my basement bedroom

And fire up my Mac

In real life the only time

I've ever been to L.A.

Was when I got the chance with the marching band

To play tuba in the Rose Parade.

But online I live in Malibu

I pose for Calvin Klein

I've been in GQ

I'm single and I'm rich

And I got a set of six-pack abs that would blow your mind

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious

I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious

Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat

With two women at one time.

I'm so much cooler online

Yeah, I'm cooler online.

When you've got my kind of stats

It's hard to get a date

Let alone a real girlfriend

But I grow another foot and lose a bunch of weight

Every time I log in.

Online I'm out in Hollywood

I'm six foot five and I look damn good

Even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat

With two women at one time.

I'm so much cooler online

Yeah, I'm cooler online